Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What is a movie franchise you actually think deserves a reboot?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What does it mean when someone is pretending to be me?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have a reading level above third grade

Who is Harold Lloyd?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I see through liars

Will you Vote for Andrew Tate for UK PM?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What is the best comeback you used on someone?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What do you think will be the biggest factor in determining whether Daniel Penny was justified in believing that Jordan Neely had posed a deadly threat in the manslaughter trial?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What might be the social consequences of an ethnic as opposed to a civic conception of the nation?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can read

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy bullshit

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I actually pay taxes